My Friend Zak (when bad tattoos come full circle and become awesome, part II)

My friend Zak is quite possibly the coolest dude ever. He has great taste in music. He's super nice and friendly. He has a black belt in karate. He likes space and d&d and being awesome. And he is willing to share his ridiculous stick-n-poke tattoos with us.

In the same vein as this dude, Zak and his friends like to get tipsy and tattoo each other. And ridiculousness ensues.

I'm going to post his tattoos in installments, because they are just that amazing, so here is the first, of many.



Here's the story behind it, if I'm remembering correctly... he decided to get a wolf tattoo, because wolves are RAD (p.s. I have a bunch of amazing tribal wolf tattoos to share with you guys). However, no one could tattoo a wolf, so he just went with the word "WOLF!". Then, apparently, there's a Chinese saying "horse, horse, tiger, bear" which brings good luck, I think? So he went with writing those next to "WOLF!" to round out the tattoo. But the words kept getting progressively crappier as he went on, so you can barely read the last one.

This might be one of the worst tattoos I have ever seen, but it is also one of the best.

If you have a silly stick-n-poke tattoo, or have a friend who does, by all means EMAIL ME!

When bad tattoos come full circle and become awesome

I bring you the most amazing collection of terrible tattoos that you could ever imagine. This fine young gentleman has agreed to let me post his awful tattoos and stories for your reading pleasure. Behold, the best bad tattoos in the world. They are so bad they are now officially AWESOME. I will let him explain in his own words:

My friend came down from Toronto to visit for a week or two. My roommate Tyson came home one night with about 3 friends, 2 cases of beer, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of vodka, a tattoo machine, needles and ink. We all start drinking and hanging out and having a really good time, then one of his friends suggests we get the gun out and start setting it up.

Not a single person before this had ever held a tattoo gun.

We get the thing running, set the needles in place, put on gloves etc etc and begin to tattoo each other. (different needles, gloves, etc for each person, not totally sanitary but not extremely dirty) after about hour 3 of tattooing the absolute most ridiculous shit on each other we end up falling asleep. Wake up the next morning and most people had no recollection of what had happened and will forever be reminded about the night they forgot they got tattooed.

Here are mine:


I think in the corner there we have a straightedge pyramid with an eye, like on the dollar bill?


The guy with the muscle arms at the top was supposed to be a CUPCAKE, by the way. There is also a cat with butterfly eyes and a mustache dreaming of... something?

But wait... there's more!!!


I had just gotten to a friends house kind of late at night, she was watching an episode of that Housewives of Orange County and i walked in on the part of the show where one of their daughters had told the parents she had gotten a tattoo. They started flipping out wanting to know WHAT and WHERE it was. She finally shows them this butterfly about the size of a dime on her foot.

So... i asked "i wonder how pissed they would've been if she wouldve came home with a bunch of random bugs all over her feet?".




Getting tattoos based on an awful reality tv show is possibly the worst idea in the world, especially if they are weird stickerbook bugs on your FEET, but this is just so funny and bad that I think it's pure genius.

This guy is my new hero.

More reader-submitted tattoos

Dear Readers,

Thank you so much for putting up with my laziness and still sending me photos of terrible, awful, no good tattoos. Thanks to you I have three new beauties to show today!

Love,
Alice

The first tattoo that I have for you all is a chest piece.

Now, I know chest tattoos can be tricky to get right. Mine is not all that great (I might be getting it redone soon). It can be the best looking spot or the most awkward looking spot, and, unfortunately, this one just looks awkward. The great reader who emailed me this photo said that it looks like a Lisa Frank tattoo, and she is so right! I am not sure what is going on inside the heart- is that a landscape of some kind? The waves look awkward and the stars over them are superfluous, not to mention the weird swirls on the bottom.
One good thing is that the execution looks decent enough, although how gross is it that they didn't use a paper towel to cover her up? All the ink and goo has seeped into her shirt!

This next one is pretty small, but worth looking at all the same:

A heart with crossbones is a cute idea, and the little line stars are traditional and can be good filler on some tattoos, but jeeeeez louise what is going on with the black shading? And the linework looks so sharp it makes me wince just to look at it!

This one was submitted by the same reader, and may be from the same artist:

Again, the linework is beyond awful. The composition is beyond awful. And is the princesses name Reesie?
I must admit I do kind of like the awkward little bumblebees though, as terrible as they are.

If you have a terrible tattoo to share with me, don't hesitate to email!

The worst of the worst (NSFW reader submission)

This tattoo is so bad and so NSFW that I can’t show it above the jump.
Alex wrote to me, and said “the bet was high card draw best 2 out of 3 winner got to pick, but had to pay for the losers tattoo.”
Click to find out what the winner picked for him, but remember, it’s graphic.